Look At The Place!

I FIXED 'ER UP!

Yep, I did it. I made my blog look all stylish. I'm a graph designer too, if you didn't know. I've done CD Covers, logos, websites, and children. My work's all over the internet I'll show some stuff sometime. I'm planning on jazzing up this place a little more soon. Maybe a nice background? I'm planning on getting a picture of myself eventually. I know I want something black and white. Prehaps wearing sunglasses and wearing a bannana hammick? No?

LETS START THE BLOG!

MAN, TODAY WAS...DULL. Oh, somebody. Please let me have a day without it being boring. Tommorrow I'm seeing Wall - E. And I'll review that in the afternoon so look for a blog of that, bitches. But today, man, today was dull. I didn't so shit all day. I was going to go Starbucks, see if that chick I talked to yesterday was there, but I got all nervous and decided against it. I found the greatest hat ever in what was Ross' room, now it's like a muasaleum with a dresser , bed and tv. So what I found was...a Pokemon hat. The one Ash wears. It fits and is in great shape. I'm going to wear the SHIT outta this hat, amigos. So, I did nothing. I tried watching Bug's Life earlier but that didn't take. I'm pissed at how boring I've become. I used to be so edgey when Ross was around. Like when I got my tattoo, all Ross. Oh Ross, I miss my bro. No bro-fun without a proper bro, yo? I have a feeling this blog is going to be frakking long and I'll think it's terrible.

THE BABE OF THE THURSDAY IS....
SIENNA MILLER
Yeah, I'm digging her as the Baroness for the GI Joe movie. She was pretty nice in Stardust too.
Mhmmm....

SO I'M GETTING THE INTERVIEW WITH COLIN FROM THE COLDPLAYERS! Huzzah! He's a chill fellow, I'll tell ya. Chill fellow I say. He's got a fantastic voice, hypnotizing. But enough of that. I hope I can finish up the interview by this weekend and edit it and post it. Then I've got a interview scheduled with Santa Claus. Hear he is a real dick.

today,
i saw a play,
i gave the ending away,
and everyone stood and towards me,
"the beast! we must slay!"
-a original work on the spot by
lewis w.

AX ME A QUESTION!:
What is your middle name?
-My middle name is Felix. I think it's badass name.

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT PEOPLE WHO USE THE PEACE SIGN. Please fuck off and die. I see all of these dumb bitches on myspace and shit who do a ugly face and flash two fingers. Has this always been popular in pictures or did some bitch like Tila Tequila(who looks like a goblin) start it? I'm sick to death of it. Do something new. Like....The Version 1 sign or double power. Just stop using it you dumb bitches, that goes for celebrities too. I'm sick of seeing you hipster doofuses using it. And dumb bitches quit making ugly looks when you take pictures. You are normally pretty but you look fucking ugly when you do a wierd look. This has been a rant.

I think Chuck Palihunkuk
(or however the hell you spell it)
is a terrible writer
besides
fight Club.

I JUST GOT A CALL ON MY CELL PHONE. I answered it, and I'm still chatting to this person. This person is Gwen, Kurt's girlfriend. She was feeling chatty and Kurt went to his little brothers baseball game. I'm still talking to her now. She's really nice. Man, I feel like a celebrity with this call. Now if only people read this I would be all set. Right now we are talking about Saturday. She's game for breakfast at Cracker Barrel. Man, I'll tell ya now. I'd get sweet with her if she wasn't Kurt's gal. Now she's talking about Last Comic Standing, she watches it. I gotta talk about that later. She didn't like God's Pottery, the "Christian duo". They are getting old. Yep. She's got a nice voice. I really feel like a celebrity and that's awesome. Alright, I've taken 2 breaks from writing this paragraph while talking to her. And we've been talking for a hour now. She's a chatty cathy I tell you what. We've talked about music, movies and all sorts of stuff. She said she got my number off Kurt. Well, she says now she's going to bed. And Goodnight, Gwen. Okay, we can hang out tommorrow. Awesome. Plans for tommorrow. She said Kurt might be there too. I don't know where "there" is though. Prehaps my place, I guess. I love making new friends. :-D

A READER WRITES:
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST REGRET?
Good question, Miss. Well. Hmm. I guess it was and this is going to go against everything I am and will sound shitty, but I never told my ex, Sophie, I loved her before she moved away. Sappy, yes.

SO I'VE BEEN LISTNEING TO SOME NEW STUFF. This Duffy chick...she's pretty. And her song, Mercy, isn't bad. She reminds me of Kristin Chenoweth. I wuv both. I'm getting a thing for blondes. I call it Hitchcock disease. Oh yeah, Sara Barenlis or whatever, the Love Song chick, her new single, she looks so cute in her new video. Wearing the green dress. Mhhmmm. Looks purty sexy behind a piano in that video too. I thought Julie Newmar was the best Catwoman in the 60's show.

HERE LIES
CASKETS MCLAREN
1877-1931
AMATUER MAGICIAN
AND BELOVED
ZEBROBOT

MY MUSIC TASTE OF THE WEEK THIS WEEK IS...So The Coldplayers and Coldplay...again. I need to listen to something new. I may try some Fiction Plane. Listen to them. Two Sisters is the best song of theirs. Duran Duran now! Next...Monday? I'm watching the concert For Diana on it's one year anniversary and dedicating the day to Duran Duran. That's when I first found them. I love Duran Duran.

SO, I GOT A NEW SHIRT TODAY VIA UPS. I rather enjoy it. It breaths. Long sleave dressy shirt but very stylish. It's purple. It's going great with my green vest. And yes, I'm dressing like the Joker when I go see The Dark Knight. But I'm not shaving off the bear, may die my hair green though. No,I 'm not. I love Batman. But I'm hyped for The Joker more. Heath is going to rock that bitch. Yes Indeed.

if there is reincarnation
i want to come back
as a lampshade
-mark twain

SO I'M STILL REALLY EXCITED TO SHOOT MY DOCUMENTARY. Yep, I'm getting a documentary made. Hold on, I have to take a call. It was nobody, telemarketer. I want to talk about me getting a keyboard next week. I don't know how to play, I can't read music. But I'm going to do it.

YOU EVE HEAR OF THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON GUY?
ME EITHER.

SO IT'S TIME TO WRAP UP THIS BLOG TONIGHT. GETTING PRETTY LATE AND ALL. I, uh, I love you guys. I mean it. I'd come to your birthday party but...you know. I'm fucking famous. I can walk away from this keyboard and start fucking supermodels TONIGHT. I didn't mean that last one. I could only probably get a drunk girl whose ass is hanging out of her jeans at the 7/11. Listen, this blog has been terrible. I neeeeeeeed to get a good something down. Tommorrow I'm going to tell some jokes. Something. I need to do something. I'm terrible. So...I hate to do this, but I'm going to finish this up. Shit forgot to talk about Last Comic Standing. Half those people are terrible up there. The one Mary Mack girl is a copy of Maria Bamford, who rocks.

i drink your milkshake
i drink it up!
-ronald regan on the silval war

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Maroon 5 ft Rihanna - Never See Your Face Again

TOMMORROW: Going to go see Wall-E. Then I'm going to hang out with Gwen sometime, I'm assuming Kurt is going to be there. Or else it might be sorta awkward. Then I'm going back the Starbucks and see if that girl is there. Yes I will.

Your A Mean One Mr Grinch,
Lewis

Hello, World!

Dear World Wide Web,

My name is Lewis Wolfe.I'm 18. I'm a aspiring comedian. I'm a high school drop out. I live alone.

I have decided to start a blog for two reasons which I will now list. 1. I have been meaning to for, like 5 months. 2. After preforming at a open mic night, this guy, Chris, saw me preform. Turns out this Chris(don't remember his last name) fellow is a grad student at the city college and he was wanting to make a documentary about a random local person. I thought it was...wierd too. But he came up to me after the show, which I was only on for 3 minutes(more on that later), and he told me he thought I was great(which is totall honest truth) and we talked for about half hour in the parking lot and he asked me if I would like to be filmed for a documentary. I'm going to tell you right now, my hands were shaking and my heart pounding, so I said 'Yes'. I had to go because I'm freaking night blind, can't see for shit when it's too dark. I gave him my number and he said he would call me tommorrow(yesterday). So I've been pumped all day. We talked yesterday and I find out he's going to be hanging around with me following me for atleast one freaking month and he said prehaps 2! I'm pumped. He's coming over to the house tommorrow to talk about the "details" of it. So far I know I'm not getting paid, which is still cool. And he said he's going to submit the documentary to film festivals! I couldn't be happier at the moment. I HAD to write all this down to "express" my excitement. If all goes well I'm going to try and do this blog everyday and update on how MY documentary goes. Sure it's no Werner Herzog doc, but it's still something! Now, I have to keep you hooked. I don't know a whole lot more about this doc, but I will tommorrow. So...I'm going to talk about myself!

I dropped out of high school after junior year. I hated going and it was a waste. I'm going to be a stand up comedian, I should be...not going to high school? Anyway, I love it. I live by myself, away from my parents, in a small house in the sub-urbs. HOW DO I HAVE A HOUSE YOU ASK?! Well, it's not mine. I have a roommate, Ross, he's 24, he own the house. I'm "house sitting" I guess, and living here while he's in Ontario. His dad's got pancreatic cancer so he went to take care of him. It really sucks, Ross' dad is a good guy, and he's only like 55. Christ, this is getting depressing.

Back to me. I'm a movie buff, and my favorite movie is The Outlaw Josey Wales. And my favorite actor is Clint Eastwood. My favorite character in a movie is Winston Wolfe from Pulp Fiction for obvious reasons. I drive a 89 Oldsmobile and I quite like it. My favorite band is Coldplay and I've listened to the album half a million times. I'm a aspiring stand up comedian(think I said this already, too lazy to check). My influences are Zach Galifiankis, Stephen Wright, Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, Mitch Hedburg, and The Flight of The Conchords. But my favorite is Zach. My favorite author is J.R.R Tolkien and fav. book is The Hobbit. I love comic books, love them. My favorite superhero is Captain America(both Steve and Bucky[Winter Solider FTW]). But my favorite comicbook is The Walking Dead. I'm going on and on aren't I? I hate the word "dude". I love the word Sunshine. I've gone 3 days without sleep once. I've never left the country. I reside in America BTW. And live in Indiana. Maybe if I get more comfortable with you I'll tell you my town, but I don't want to wind up pregnant, aight?

TOMMORROW: I get to meet up with Chris and a few of his friends who will help with the doc. And I'm terribly excited about it all. So, I'm going to finish fixing up this blog. So...

I'M LISTENING TO AT THIS EXACT MOMENT: This Love By Maroon 5

I'm getting a documentary and your not,
Lewis